coaching

Your Soul vs. Love

toi moi nous,you,me,us
~ yvonnepearl ~ Leave a comment

Should we let go of our dreams?

Our dreams are deeply rooted in our skin and travel through our blood. I believe they are born in our hearts and can eventually reach our brain if you let it happen.

We all have dreams, which may have been built during our childhood. In my opinion, no one should occult his yawning thoughts. If we have the capability to think, analyze, over think, compare, explore, introspect, it means we need to focus more to get a sense out of what we are experiencing.

For instance, if one of your thought triggers compassion for humankind, leading to confusion and anxiety about our future on this planet, it is fairly easy to just put it aside and keep on doing what you are doing. Nevertheless, it is part of who you are and you should listen to yourself. The key to finding yourself and knowing what you want to become during this short journey called life, is an equation of several thoughts, feelings and breakthroughs. Some people tend to get a glimpse of it during their sleep, remembering their nightmares or beautiful dreams while others prefer to meditate to get in touch with their inner minds. It’s not complicated it only takes curiosity and willingness.

We believe we do not have time. We think it’s a waste of energy and probably a hassle. What if it leads to a complete change of our way of thinking after we try to discover more about ourselves? What if we have to change everything? The relationships we’ve built, the job we worked hard for and the security? It’s not a struggle. Searching for our SOUL is a commitment, it’s possible and it will bring you somewhere called HOME.

You cannot build your home on lies.

The downside is we live in an over exposed environment where the quest to happiness is on everyone’s agenda. How can I be happier? Where can I get this pair of shoes for a cheaper price? Who can I choose to marry? We have so many choices, so many opportunities that it’s impossible for us to maintain a healthy rhythm, a harmonious step plan. We think we know what our dreams are, that we are doing everything to pursue them while believing it will obviously bring us joy and happiness forever.

It’s time to wake up! Motivating oneself to be happier is a great source of strength. However, decoding our dreams is a different path.

I will tell you how it worked for me. I’m still working on pursuing my passion and my goals are set more or less. I feel completely FREE. I’m lucky enough to have very supportive parents, the most amazing friends and an ability to adapt quickly to any given situation. I also enjoy random encounters, discovering new countries and I possess a strong creative sense. While these specific characteristics make me a great candidate for this fight for my dreams, it certainly doesn’t mean I will be happy in the end.

Dreamers, risk takers, adventurers, adrenaline seekers, creative minds, philosophers and so on, are not the happiest people on this planet.

If you recognize yourself in the description above, it doesn’t mean you can’t be serene and peaceful, I’m just pointing out the difference between seeking your dreams and finding happiness. When most people think they are usually linked, I can tell you it isn’t always true.

Take my background and my own experience for example. I was engaged a few times, I had great loving relationships with perfect men. I am not afraid to commit whatsoever and would love to build a family. For some reason, each time I am close to truly committing, I get an electroshock reminding me I’m letting go of MY dreams. Because let’s face it, dreams are personal. They are our own creations, private, selfish and intimate, how on earth could you fully concentrate on that accomplishment while committing to someone else’s dreams? When you get married, you give a part of your soul away. Isn’t it what they all say? Isn’t it what poems and love songs talk about? Mariah Carrey giving “her all” being one example and the word “soul mate”, another perfect illustration. The risk takers are those like me, who prefer to selfishly keep their soul, rather than maybe feeling serene and happy. Hence, when choosing the most risky path, you will get an intense thrill and goose bumps along the way. You will live for yourself and sense the freedom and fullfilment in your veins.

At this point, if you have the choice, which path will you take?

As an optimist, I am certain there is a different concept out there, which embodies the soul mate figure in a different form. In my beliefs, strong and sensitive, he has a driven open-minded spirit, he knows how I feel and he has been through similar situations. If I’m lucky enough to meet him, not only will he elevate ME but he will also show me it’s perfectly okay to fall in love without losing my soul. He will support me and back me because he comprehends my deepest thoughts without asking. As if it were pure magic, the same will apply for him. We will experience what we commonly call a deep CONNECTION. It’s possible to find and surprisingly it’s the only time your two paths will become one. Because your dreams become reality and you will have finally won the battle against yourself. You will experience a harmony between stability and movement, between love and passion and the most important of all, between your ego and the world.

Good luck my friends.

Namaste

Yvonne Pearl

Proustian Life Improvements

sky,greece,yvonne,pearl
~ yvonnepearl ~ Leave a comment

1- Loving Oneself

I am listening to this specific song and I can remember partying like a maniac, waiting in line just so I could move my body. I have always wanted people to look at me, to think I was pretty and that I could dance well. Being the center of attention was my number one goal. I don’t know maybe it’s because I was born a Leo. This strong desire remains, I need people to listen to what I have to say, I need to lead, to make people laugh and smile. Why? Because I want them to love me.

This desire to be loved can be mistaken sometimes. Let’s be honest, no one can ever love you more than you can love yourself.

Sadly, it’s getting very difficult these days. The most important thing I’ve learnt reading psychological, self-improvement books is that you need to love yourself before you can have any healthy relationships with anyone; being a friend, a family member or a love partner. I also believe in a disenchanting world where no prince charming, no love story can last forever. Which is fine with me. Is it really?

I’m listening to my Dad’s favorite song now. For some reason, it’s truly this song that reminds me of my childhood and these sweet moments with my father. I achieved a lot this year and changed the way I looked at my relationship with him. I decided to change, stop judging and let go of the bad vibes. I decided to live the moment … and start loving myself.

2- Stopping Time

I need TIME. But (and the but is important here), TIME isn’t time anymore if you mention its name.

Time = the fact that you are saying or reading this word is actually the notion of time itself. During this split second while you read or understood its meaning and spelling, which then connected to your brain, time has elapsed already. When I said I needed more time, it refers to its notion. Having more time and wanting more time is usually what I hear the most (we talk about it and mention it differently). I believe it’s because we start thinking about “needing more time” that we are then trapped in this continuous fatality spiral. The end, death or the thought that we cannot move until something exterior awakens us. It’s very sad and I don’t want this life. Whatever it takes, I will fight and will always be a rebel. I often observe people who have a stable job, various obligations, putting money aside, building a family, a home… Trust me, I also want this at some point, it’s just that I need to feel in control of my life. I need to be FREE.

2- Freeing your Mind

 (Get this inspiring book by Krishnamurti “Freedom from the Known”)

Why is it that I cannot stay still? Lately, my head is constantly in search of a stimulus. In books, art exhibits, everyday discoveries and conversations.

I have this deep pleasure when it comes to meeting someone, in particular an individual that has nothing in common with me. I love to try to understand the person I am talking to. It’s fundamental for me and I feel serene afterwards. I rarely sense bad vibes coming from the other person unless I’m in a bad mood myself. I don’t know if this phenomenon is linked to my own pursuit of happiness or if it’s just my curiosity. I feel every human being on this planet has always some “little good” within. Unfortunately, our Society is destroying many of the core values and essential traits we had growing up. As children, we were full of innocence, curiosity and we were certainly living in the moment without having to meditate or concentrate on it. We were spontaneous.

Looking around, I can see that as adults, we judge, we dislike, we compare, we despise. I reminisce being a child, I reminisce playing and thinking the days would never end, the summer vacations felt like years. I remember imagining my own worlds inside reality. I remember laughing and not focusing on what people would say or do. I remember saying whatever I felt or wanted to share. Why are we so different now? Why do we grow up and turn into ghosts? Yes, the word is harsh but I have been looking around, analyzing, experiencing the adult life and I do not fit in.

Let’s put it this way : I have a creative mind that needs space, motivation, harmony and deep conversations. I need to function at my own pace in order to produce something amazing, I need to exercise, to do yoga, to cook my food, to share my thoughts, to listen to others and try to help or give them advice.

I was truly serene after I fasted for more than 10 days. Yoga everyday and cardio exercises were the best combination with my healthy diet. I also didn’t care of whom I could meet, talk to and other people’s judgment. I was free…

Freedom is the most important. It defines us and makes us who we are. Our freedom is our soul. There are thousands different kinds of freedoms. I always loved how it’s glorified in many cultures. Pick the French “Liberté Egalité Fraternité”, the Statue of Liberty or the U.S. Constitution. We talk about liberty of thought, freedom of speech, religion, movement … Did we ever talk about our FREEDOM? The subjective freedom and how we would define it? If someone defines it for us, isn’t it a way to suppress that freedom in a certain way?