Being miles away from friends and family can be difficult. You say you’ll call, you’ll skype, you’ll do the best to keep in touch but there is a certain mechanism that engages. It’s hard to explain but at first, it’s as if you were part of a different world and you did not need to speak to anyone. I want to get set before I call anyone or meet new people. I want to be in the second phase of discovery. I want to know the city a little better so I’m not just a visitor or an outsider. I need to be in control.

Being in control is always such a big deal. For some, it doesn’t mean anything. It usually comes from your childhood (obviously everything does). Your parents were not available or did not show you any affection for instance. You get to build your own world and it seems you get to control it. You have many close friends and you are usually a leader.

I had this conversation with a friend earlier. Yes, I answered the phone. It is always the same though. I feel people call me to get answers and to clear their minds. Is that my role? Is only talking about yourself and focusing on your own problems a selfish behavior? I feel these people need my help in a way. I do not know if I can give them what they need but I can at least give them what they want: a little bit of serenity. When someone frees their mind, opens up, the process itself allows them to feel much better. They are releaved of this pressure …

Being in two different time zones makes it a lot more difficult. It is hard to get a hold of someone and maybe they’re having dinner or starting their day when you need them. The dialogue therefore, is a little less productive and you also get different vibes. I am not saying you cannot help your true friends when you live across the globe, it gets harder that’s all.

Experiencing a new city is also a kind of rebirth. You get to rediscover yourself, you even feel surprised sometimes of the way you’re acting. You act differently because the people, the culture is different here. You may also encounter some dilemmas on how to react to different situations. In Paris, it’s a habit, you live your life as you always did. You need some kind of transformation in order to adapt and become a real LA person. You can try all you want but you’ll always have this Parisian skin underneath, even after years of practice.

Time difference is not just a matter of space. It also comes from misunderstandings. The worst miscommunication you can hear about is usually in a couple relationship. I heard this terrible story earlier. A jealous and possessive woman always asking about her fiancé’s past. She’d only focus on what he experienced before, with who, … Questionning his past sexual life was her favorite topic. It was not really to know or understand him better, it was done in a jealous possessive way and led to hatred. In otherwords, the more he’ll honnestly answer her questions, the more she would get crazy jealous imagining him with another woman doing something. This led to perversion and she became acting aggressively and attacking him for no reason. If he had understood all she needed was to be reassured and if he had said she was way better than the others, maybe even embellishing the truth, the couple could have grown stronger. These thoughts are only maybes … But this behavior led to disaster. They were in different worlds, had a different time zone clock and didn’t connect really. People have to meet when the timing is right. They could be the most suited person, be a perfect match, if the timing is not right, their love, their feelings, anything they have will go to waste …